An excerpt from Naomi’s autobiography, Stealth Journey – An Uncommon Fight Against Cancer, Fear, Tradition, and Pharmaceuticals
Thought I’d give you a peek inside my autobiography by sharing an excerpt from the chapter my husband, Tim Havens, wrote as a way of sharing his perspective on this outside-the-box his bride chose for her healing journey. Enjoy!
Living Wild with a Crazy Woman
by Tim Havens
Living wild is corrupt enough, but what about living wild with a crazy woman? It sounds like a chilling departure from sanity. In reality, it’s a fun-filled adventure full of stepping out into the unknown and trusting in God.
Naomi and I were married for 25 years, both of us living like children when it came to “wild and crazy.” It was very unsettling. Thankfully, someone showed me the difference between living “wild and crazy” as a child, and living “wild and crazy” as an adult. There is a big difference. When we learned how to live wild and crazy as adults, our lives have been bliss ever since. Let me explain.
The “child” type of wild and crazy blames others for their emotions and avoids reconciliation. The “adult” type of wild and crazy takes responsibility for and power over their emotions. We are able to harness our emotions and increase the magnitude of our strength. Simply stated, “Adults do not apologize for their actions. Adults take responsibility for their actions.”
As adults, we don’t have to conform to what is expected from our “parents.” We make our choices, and we live with the consequences. Even if we conform to what others want us to do, it’s still our choice and we still live with the consequences.
We make choices every day. Sometimes, we aren’t even aware that we have a choice because we are so conditioned to live life a certain way. When we began to realize how much “going with the flow” was damaging our lives, we began to take responsibility and started living like “wild and crazy” adults.
One day, I was sitting near a window at a coffee shop when I watched a young man quickly pull into a parking spot. Jumping out, he ran into the establishment to purchase his morning meal. It caught my attention because the man had left his car with the engine still running and the music bellowing out of an open side window.
Rushing into the shop, he gave his full attention to placing his order and receiving his food. He was quite comfortable in letting his guard down, blinding himself to his surroundings, and inviting anyone who was watching to steal his car. Sure, he would enjoy his food, but would he lose his car in the process? Would he need to use the energy from his breakfast to search for his missing car? The driver was happy to ignore his environment and refuse to acknowledge potential danger.
No one stole his car, and the young man left the coffee shop seemingly un-phased, but I learned a lesson. As I watched the scenario, I looked into my own life to find a parallel. Do I open myself up to potential robbery? Do I invite devastating circumstances to harm me? Do I ignore my environment and pretend there is nothing to protect myself from?
I realized that Naomi and I were both living carelessly when it came to food. We have always believed our bodies are the temple of God, but we were prostituting ourselves to the idol called food. We laughed as we enjoyed the sweet and savory foods we ate, but we never considered if the food was blessed of God.
Many people don’t consider God when it comes to their food choices. Too often, we compartmentalize, or separate God from food. We pray and ask for God’s blessing on the food, but do any of us ever ask if the food is favorable for God to bless? Did God create the food we are eating, or did man?
Naomi and I were living a compartmentalized lifestyle. We were praising God, seeking out his wisdom, and acting on it in the best way we knew how. All the while, we were failing in one major area: our bodies and the fuel we used to run them. We woke up from the spiritual sleep concerning food, as disease shouted its loud voice into our home.
A Wild and Crazy Response to Cancer
When Naomi told me she had cancer, I was in shock. My emotions and body felt nothing. Our marriage vow was my motivation to physically stay by her side, but my emotions were stunned. I didn’t know what to do, but to support her as much as possible, no matter what.
I would go with her to see the doctors when she asked me to. She is the one that began to question the doctors; I just followed. One day, she handed me a book that described the process of what chemotherapy does to the body. The picture the words painted was not good. People were dying from the chemo treatments, not from cancer. The chemo was destroying their immune systems.
We were at an oncologist appointment when Naomi handed me that book. During a later appointment, the oncologist told us to make an appointment at the hospital for Naomi to take a stress test. We weren’t given any details about the stress test, so I assumed the only thing involved would be Naomi on a treadmill.
We scheduled the appointment, and showed up. As soon as we arrived for the stress test, we began to notice a series of red flags. At first, I didn’t do anything but observe.
The first red flag came as we entered the hospital through a side entrance. We checked in, and they told Naomi to wait. Soon, a nurse rolled a wheelchair up to us. She asked Naomi to ride in the wheelchair as she escorted us down the hallway to another section of the hospital. It was odd, but Naomi did as she was requested. Why a wheelchair? Naomi was perfectly capable of walking.
The second red flag came as we entered through a set of sliding doors into a bustling room full of nurses. There was a front desk in the center of the room, and several examination rooms off on the sides. The nurses were going in and out of the rooms doing their duty. The nurse pushing the wheelchair moved us up to the main desk. They placed a clipboard in Naomi’s lap. It was full of release forms waiting for her signature.
“Oh well,” I thought. It’s just common paperwork. After she signed the documents, they rushed us to a corner, and locked the wheels on the wheelchair. They asked Naomi to changed into a hospital gown. Once she changed, a nurse opened the front of the gown to wipe iodine on Naomi’s chest.
By this time, I realized this was not looking like a treadmill stress test. Then I thought, “Would a simple treadmill stress test require a release form?” My response was a disturbing, “No!”
When the nurse left us alone, I checked with Naomi to see if she was as confused as I was about what was happening. She said, “Yes,” and I decided to walk to the front desk and ask for additional details. I told the nurse at the desk that we had not been educated as to the details of the stress test.
“Naomi will be receiving a low dose chemo injection,” the nurse at the desk replied. “We will make a small incision and place a tube in her to allow a small amount of chemo to enter her body. At the same time, we will monitor her heart to see if there is any congenital heart disease apparent.”
“Wait a minute,” I said. “Naomi has never had a heart problem.”
“Well, sir, many people do have congenital heart problems and are never aware of it. This test will identify if her heart is strong enough to take the chemo treatment.”
I was stunned. This was not an ordinary stress test. No one told us any of this before, and we were completely unprepared. I recited everything back to the nurse to make sure I heard her correctly. She confirmed that I understood what was happening.
“Let’s say that Naomi received the full chemo treatment and her cancer was cured. Are you saying that she could have heart problems the rest of her life?” I asked.”
“Yes, sir. That is correct.”
I staggered back to Naomi and informed her of what the nurse told me.
“Naomi, what do you want to do?”
“I don’t want to take the chemo.”
“I don’t either. Wait here. I’ll be back.”
I walked back to the nurse’s station, and said, “Naomi does not want to take this test. We want to leave.”
Now it was the nurse’s turn to be stunned. Blinking, she tried to make sense of what I said. Apparently, our actions were new to her. To them, our actions must have seemed wild and crazy.
Naomi redressed and the nurses asked us to sign another release form. After that, they simply told us to leave. No one pointed the way out, so we moved toward the same sliding doors we came through, and we left.
Our leaving was in stark contrast to our arriving. When we first arrived, they treated us as if we were in dire need. But after we signed the release forms and walked out under our own power, nobody wished us well, or even spoke to us.
Naomi has an aunt who was diagnosed with cancer twice and went through chemo and radiation both times. The second time, she had a major stroke, which still causes challenges for her. Both Naomi and I are quite fond of this aunt, but neither of us wanted to take any chances with problems resulting from the stress chemo puts on the heart.
When I started looking through the door that Naomi had opened in my mind with that one chapter on the effects of chemo, it seemed clear that the path for us was not following what the doctors told us to do. The light of truth was blinding and disorienting. We had to navigate on our own. Many voices spoke fear into our lives—conform, do our way, or die.
I started looking for commonalities between the medical and alternative communities when it came to cancer treatment. What I found became a lighthouse beacon, directing Naomi and I away from chemo and radiation. Before we started finding our way, Naomi had already gone through with a surgery, but later we found out that surgery is optional as well.
Like what you are reading? There’s MORE to this chapter! You too can read the WHOLE book when you purchase your own copy signed by the author, Naomi Havens.
My desire is to Inspire People. I want people when they meet me to say, “Because of You I did not give up!” I hope you have been inspired through my journey!
You are FREE to Choose, but not free from the Consequences of your choices.
He who has an ear to hear, let him hear. I hope you are one who has ears to hear!
Until Next Time!
REMEMBER: The very best affirmations for me come in the form of witnessing the healing changes that come when people JOIN me on the journey of following the guidelines given to us by Yahweh – God our CREATOR rather than man and tastebuds! Deuteronomy 28 & Daniel 1:8
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